I’ll be so proud when my daughter is president and runs a corrupt oligarchy
Kiese Laymon, The Guardian, February 22, 2016
Other parents might say they want their mediocre children to make the world a better place. But my girl is destined to do more than that, mostly for white people.
I want my black American daughter to be president of the United States when she grows up – and to evade, at all costs, the question of whether a president of the United States of America can be morally just.
I want her to wear boring outfits and pay white people to march in front of cameras after the debates and tell everyone who will listen how well she performed in the debates, regardless of how well she actually performed in the debates.
I want her to say “We’re gonna build a wall” and “Oh, you’re a tough guy, Jeb” so many times that millions of lovely fed-up conservative white voters absolutely adore her.
I want my daughter to take the matter of reparations into her own gifted hands by telling these same conservative white voters how suspicious she is of Muslims, and of all those black folks who want our lives to matter and of Barack Obama (an alleged Muslim who supposedly wants our black lives to matter). Even if my daughter does not win, conservative white voters will bless my daughter with $54m.
My daughter will have her reparations, one way or another.