To use the terminology of the anarchist anthropologist David Graeber, you have to be like a white middle-class male boss who knows how to do “interpretive labour” (AKA get inside the other person’s head) like an immigrant or a woman. You have to work out what the other person wants, and then somehow make your own ends compatible with theirs. While this may sound Machiavellian, a baby can do it. Literally. You’re bound to be doing tons of it already.